Saturday, December 19, 2009

Early morning musings on addictions

There is a world that awaits me when I go to my stats counter and see the visits to my blog. It constantly amazes and humbles me the number and variety of locations from around the world that visit. This leads me to reflect on the influence that I might have. When I review what I have written and said in my Utubes, it seems that sometimes I am out to lunch, angry beyond reason, while at other times I have excellent input and make insightful points with humor and logic. Is this not a mirror image of those I claim to represent; the average human being?

The best that I can figure out is that mostly I am an amalgamation of the average man, the resultant emotions of a law abiding person who has been oppressed by injustice. Somehow I can’t seem to let the emotions go, as most others do, rather I have cleverly disguised it, revised it and made it my crusade’s energy source.

Was I built this way, or have I been tweaked by my lifetime use of Marijuana? Am I a product of this plant expressed through my unique being? Is this a symbiotic relationship? Are Mary Jane and I joined at the hippocampus? Who are we? Bud the Oracle?

All I know is that I am doing exactly as God wants me to do right now, although I can’t define God. Yet I don’t have a clue what I am going to do the next moment. There is no plan. I am winging it with a lot of help from my friends.

Here is what is on my mind this morning: I am an addictive person! I am reflecting on my clients and their addiction battles as well, and how the legalization of all substances is going to affect us individually. Personally I am very fond of this MDMA and can see how others are too. Some of my best friends like it very much, too. Of course this is on top of the herb. It seems that the more creative the personality, the more of a fondness for these diversions. For the most part psychedelic users are hard working individuals in good paying jobs, or university students. I have watched some young clients give them up more than a year ago. Others recently quit pot. Everyone has their mountains to climb and some do better than others. I’ll tell you a little bit about mine, because I believe it is mostly the same for all of us.

In the fridge at the moment are several different varieties of psychedelics, all my favorites. I wouldn’t have them if I didn’t like them. They beckon to me for a moment on a day like this. Lots of good sleep, happy optimistic morning with a lovely 9 degrees forecast. My legs are just getting back into shape from the assault and I am able to put four hours of walking on them per day, so I feel like walking. Strolling on ecstasy and mushrooms is like walking while having a mild orgasm throughout your entire body as well as your mind. Definitely a thrill for a sixty year old. 60 milli grams of this stuff, half a normal dose, is plenty for me and my adult friends. The trick is to give it a break. Not to let it talk you into ingesting some every time it beckons.

I have set a minimum of one week for myself, while some of my friends don’t do it more often than every couple of weeks. What I am noticing is that most of the drug users I know are responsible and can control themselves. It is a matter of coming to terms with yourself, your stress load, and those around you. What is most important in all our lives is that we are loved and needed, especially being happy with ourselves. When those parameters shift and illness strikes us, be it either mental, physical or a combination of both, we become vulnerable. It is then that our social support network gets to be very important.

It is at this time that we don’t need to be driven away from a normal community, to be criminalized by the Justice system, to be made the scapegoat of the ills of society by the government. Politicians, cops, judges, crown attorneys, bureaucrats refer to us as “drug users” ladling disdain on the syllables to garner hatred for us through political stigmatization, criminalization, by labeling us as being mentally abnormal, when all we are is the same as others of the human species. We are the Rahim Jaffers of humanity, capable of good and vile depravity! We are both loved and despised by our loved ones, because we have a problem of control in certain areas that at times can affect our lives greatly. The solution is personal knowledge and exercising control.

The government can never take these human problems on via the blunt instrument of prohibition, because in all our individual fridges will be all of our most challenging problems. Unless the government wants to climb into all our fridges, steal all our problems and harm us by jailing all of us, most of whom it can’t control at any given time (and that is all of us, including those in government, policing, justice) there is no way it can do anything but exacerbate the problem for us personally. When we open our eyes and look around at the social landscape after the last 4 decades of Prohibition, my predictions about the rampant lawlessness which would engulf us in 1969 were exactly on the mark. This of course comes at a great social cost, violent crime and the increased costs (both financial and social) of the policing associated with it.

All of this absurdity is layered on by the government when in the end we only have to handle our problem by becoming a little stronger personally. For me this comes from the enhancing my personal awareness of myself, keeping up my social network and most of all feeling that I am contributing something as a human being. I kind of think that I am not so different from any other addictive person in this country.

Although I don’t want anyone to have a bad result from the substances I am selling, and have given it great thought, there still is no better way than allowing each their own free choice. To let God touch each one as their needs be, not to try and control anyone, must be the way. It is proven when any individual overcomes even the worst of addictions through personal efforts helped along by the community, rather than there being an absence of drugs available to them.. That is why the age of reason is important. People should know exactly what they are ingesting and its effects on them, perhaps through graduated licensing. Beyond that, it not the job of anyone to stand in for God in another life.

It makes me stronger to understand my weaknesses and develop the control over my own nature, holding off to satisfy my required time limit. Incrementally, like the tiny atomic attractions of Van der Wall’s forces, as a large citizenry, we will add up to a stronger society