Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Met someone interesting today as I usually do when I am on psychedelics. I have had the pleasure before but we didn't get to share in the way we did today. Sometimes its funny whom one meets when high and journeying through life. I am naturally empathetic, and when I become aware of someone elses perceptions of their own reality I wonder at the gulf of understanding between us. My friend is at least as far from the center line of "normality" in their direction as I have been in my deluded vector of late.
Often we see glimpses of it as comics, good writers, poets nudge us out of ourselves for a moment. Psychedelics are great adventures for me to get to know people through because they allow a more malleable impression to color and precede a personality. Nothing is set in stone and deeper glimpses can come by casually between the laughter of conversation.
What is abnormal on my part is that I don't live in fear or with worries about anything. It's a blissfully ignorant state of being, not particularly conducive to longevity. It allows you the virgin wonder of the moment when that bullet of fate strikes you smack dab in the forehead. It also frees you from spending a single moment worrying about strange scenarios which you have no control over, the way things might have been.
I know one thing: those gifted with an active imagination can sometimes wind up captive to its extreme vagaries. I'm just as deluded in not having had any worries about being busted when I was walking down East Broadway (on 17 of February actually going to talk to the very same cops who couldn't wait till I got there and took me down) as someone who has feelings of paranoia occasionally. We are just on opposite ends of the perception spectrum is all.
I see wonderful promise written in pretty smiles, sadly framed in veils of fears. I also see light at the end of the tunnel.
Let me explain that I was sincere in my prescription of ecstasy, MDMA as a possible viable cure for these symptoms, these fears.
I am not someone who has studied the pharmacology of drugs other than through personal experience. I am not interested in giving anyone bad advice, but I do believe that this substance may be the cure for anxieties. The fact is that it might not be what you need, but it isn't gonna hurt you to try it. No more toxic than a turnip, imo.
As I explained, I think there is a problem of MDMA leading to addiction/tolerance if it works for you. I have an addictive personality and must consider tolerance and limits of use in all substances, especially those which I enjoy doing. This is the normal self awareness necessary to keep from becoming addicted to anything, imo.
I think the therapeutic use of MDMA should be interment as needed to help fend off spontaneous anxiety attacks much the same as other symptomatic treatment as headache or pain reliever may help with an intermittent or occasional pain.
I think of it (especially in a three month absence) as having a lure on me because of the special way it makes me feel. I enjoy the pure stuff, in a 60 mg, rather than the standard 120 mg dose, once a week at the most. Usually I enjoy it with magic mushrooms. That is one reason I love psychedelics is because I have few fears. Or perhaps that is why I have few fears; because I do psychedelics regularly.
That way I get to explore anything that might crop up in the furthest imaginative recesses of my mind before they become dragons of scary proportions. Our brain chemistry is so fragile in many ways. I think that I have done my last DMT trip as I explained. There is only so much need to explore something. If anything induces fear then it is wise to beware. It is a powerful experience to see God. Perhaps it is diminished in over repetition.
Today was a great trip on "The Golden Teacher" mushroom, 1.8 grams. I met some people who knew me at Tout Lake. They were busy talking with an African gentleman who was from Nairobi. It turns out they will be holidaying there in about one week's time. There was some interest in how good a mushroom high I was experiencing from several different people. It feels so good to be one of the crowd. Dog people are more tolerant and wider experienced, it seems.
There are so many good people out there to whom I am connected by my activism, in my altered states, that I have received much good karma and real help from. The White Wolf has drawn some gals in with his charms, not the least of whom was the Judge.
I feel so good about belonging to something worthwhile and important to the community as well as many individuals. My pond has widened and the waves are touching more and more good people who stimulate me into thinking on these strange follies of fate. I like being free. I am a happy person who enjoys the company of other people. This gives back to me in more ways than I am even aware of.
Thankfully, I have given up being judgmental for the most part and have had a great expansion of rewarding experiences, because of it. There are rumors that warm my heart about anonymous benefactors. I am glad I didn't have to burden anyone for too long.
I talked to Adrienne Switzer today and she assures me that my camera and computer equipment will soon be home. Strangely I don't hold out any animosity for her either.
Marc Boyer is free again after having been jailed on a warrant over night. That is good to hear, too!
Another fellow activist just put me on to this bit of tragedy. To think that people are routinely killed by government agents for a war against reason. This will be judged to be insanity in the future when one considers that its meant to stop people like myself and my friends from accessing a happy state of mind of our choosing. You really have to wonder what kind of insanity is gripping our leadership to make them think that they are on the right path destroying a peaceful society to keep happy people from being happy however they choose to be. Pure insanity is happening around us masquerading for good government.
Who is insane, people like my friends who wish to choose a different diet or people who would criminalize others to the point of killing them? All of this dangerous oppression, the paradigm of organized crime, simply because they would dare to experience a different state of mind, a different behavioral addiction to access their endorphin centers. They can keep on sending me to jail because I will never roll over and say that this is normal sober behavior. This is a gift of brown shirt thinking; demonizing others to exploit your own sense of superiority.
Before I admit to being crazy/insane the government will need to explain these treatments of people simply because they wish to access a different state of mind. Can the RCMP explain why they are killing this man?
While continuously benefiting from the wisdom I have gained through the use of Psychedelics such as this lesson in perception I have found this research concerning cancer and the use of magic mushrooms
Posted by bud oracle at 2:27 PM