Sunday, November 21, 2010
It is beginning to dawn on me that I am exceptional, not at all like Peter, Paul, or John whom my father always wanted me to be more like. The amount of impact words like that have on someone who is exceptional but doesn't know it yet is immense. These words are reflected back at me constantly in the dysfunctional responses to me from others. There is a lot of hurt out there, in here, still.
They may be leaving me alone because I am a nut, but I don't it see it that way. And I don't base it on a vague supposition framed in my own baseless over confidence as compared to some else's lack of confidence.
When someone fails to even put in an effort to understand what we are doing, yet are confidently ready to assert that they know what the cops/politicians think: that I am "nuts," contrary to the obvious it stuns me and hurts my spirit. This accordingly is the reason that I am being presently left alone. I can't believe that level of negativity unless that person is deeply dysfunctional themselves. That's sad to see.
If it were this easy, just acting crazy, wouldn't there be a huge supply of would-be drug dealers who could capitalize on their natural abilities? No, this is a fearful man's projection of their own lack of confidence by way of saying "They think you are nuts." I hope that I will eventually get to elevate everyone's courage a bit from the example of my nutty activism. Everyone who has ever accomplished something that was difficult has had to deal with their own doubts, but the most disheartening thing for me to see is the level poor self awareness coupled with fear, pessimism and mostly self loathing, in others. It really is sad some are so limited by their own attitude as to project on someone else. Perhaps they might yet learn as I did what is important and have a happy time without fear.
I think that he would do well with a lesson in Wu Li Dancing. There is still plenty of time, because I didn't learn this until only recently.